


I Missed You

by faifrayuwu



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Confessions, Earth C (Homestuck), F/M, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, POV Eridan Ampora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28281408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faifrayuwu/pseuds/faifrayuwu
Summary: //Spoilers!Eridan Ampora is a changed man. In an alternate reality where he lives and survives, he has decided to right all his wrongs. Now living on Earth C, spend the holidays as Eridan and deliver your final gift to a forgotten friend.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Nepeta Leijon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	I Missed You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prince_ampora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_ampora/gifts).



> Merry Christmas Eridan! This is a gift for my boyfriend, Eridan, and I hope he has a wonderful new year and so do my other readers! 
> 
> SPOILERS AHEAD

GA: Oh... Thank You Eridan. This Is Very Unforseen. Yet I Still Thank You  
CA: yeah wwell, its the least i can do. im tryin to fix loose ends. you knoww howw it is  
GA: I Do. I Guess I Should Apologize For What Happened Before  
GA: I Am Sorry. Truly 

You smile a little, and break eye contact with Kanaya. 

GA: Eridan, Are You Feeling Well  
CA: just accept the gift kanaya. dont wworry about me. it gets you nowwhere 

Her hands clasp and she frowns. If you had to peg her down as a fictional character, it'd be a strict female teacher from the human movies. You can't name an exact character. You aren't really familiar with films in general, and you have no desire to be. 

GA: Very Well. Happy Holidays As The Humans Say  
CA: happy holidays kan 

You turn and stride away, impulsively flipping your cape. That should probably change too. But without your cape, are you really Eridan Ampora? 

As you walk away, your eyes avert to the ground, you think of the last conversation with Kanaya. It had been twice as awkward. At least things were settled now. As adults, you both realized that maybe there weren't anymore hard feelings. Not exactly like being sawed in half was very petty or easily forgivable, but hey. It's a new day. A new planet. It's time to move on from the past. 

Yet you can't brush away the taste of her lips. Not Kanaya's, duh. You stop at a crosswalk light, luckily right before oncoming traffic sped by. You don't even feel real. You hesitantly reach for your lips, maybe hoping that you could somehow feel her soft lipstick again. Her pale lips that rarely even wore makeup. But they were that day. 

Oh no. You sigh. That wasn't the last kiss either. And unbeknownst to you, it happens again this very night. 

... 

The atmospheric social cues and pressures of regular Earth seem almost unfathomable on Earth C. You look around to see gay couples, shopping windows reflecting clothes with no gender, races and blood of all color. You soberly remember your anger birthed by the topic of blood color. It took at least 4 more sweeps to understand that in the grand scheme of things, nothing really mattered. In a good way though. On the inside, you still felt anger inside. Your young teenage rage still bubbling. 

Those were the days. 

Days you never want to return to. 

You quickly fish your phone out of your pocket to distract your thoughts, and check the directions again. She lives close to Kanaya. In fact, almost all the trolls lived near each other. The ones that were still alive, at least. You live far away. Well, an hour wasn't bad on Earth C. But still, it's farther than a walking distance. Hurt, you wonder if they purposefully left you out. 

They probably did, you idiot. Nobody wants to fill your quadrants. 

You try to brush the even more intrusive thoughts away and remember exactly why you chose to keep contact limited with everyone. It just brought pain and suffering. Constantly. 

The next five minutes are somewhat calm. Until you are standing at her front gate, and feel. Empty. And panic, all the same. Fuck. You haven't spoken to her in over a sweep. You glance at the driveway. There are two cars nestled there, as if they were right where they should be. Of course she has someone. Why wouldn't she? She was always great to everyone. It wouldn't be hard for her to fill her quadrants. Yet you can't help but feel your chest tighten. 

There isn’t much you can do by waiting, so you might as well get it over with. Your normal stride translates into a slumping trudge when you are defeated, whether you notice or not. 

As you reach a knuckle to knock, the door flies open immediately. Your hand retreats and you stand in paralyzed shock. 

CT: D--> Eridan, what a nice surprise. I was just about to leave  
CA: no wworries, i just havve a gift for nep 

You laugh nervously, and stand aside. Wow, this guy always freaked you out. You have no idea how Nepeta stands him. Speaking of Nepeta, she apparates out of thin air next to Equius. Taken aback from her appearance, you make absolutely no moves at first. 

What a difference a sweep can make. While she is still taller than him, she lost a lot of muscle yet still looked toned. So it didn't seem like she was a whole lot taller. Her skin bore fading scars and looked silky smooth. She wore a pajama top with shorts, her tail swishing behind her. She still wore her hat, even though it had several stains and wear and tear. 

CA: nepeta 

That was all you could say as you stare into her eyes. 

AC: :33 < eridan! it's so nice to s33 you again 

You keep staring. Then immediately look away after you become self-aware. Oh wow. That was weird. It felt ike sweeps and sweeps of lifetimes flashed before you, between you. 

CT: D--> Right. I'll be on my way now. Happy human day of festival cheer to you both  
CA: right  
AC: :33 < right 

Equius awkwardly slides past you and shuffles off to his car. You watch him for a moment, then turn back to Nepeta. Oh shit. You didn't rehearse this enough. But luckily, it wasn't too bad after a few more awkward seconds. The awkwardness transitioned into a comfortable silence, until Nepeta spoke. 

AC: :33 < i havent s33n you in so long. i missed you a lot  
CA: i missed you too. i got you somethin for christmas  
AC: :33 < aw thank you! come in, come in  
CA: oh i really shouldnt 

Nepeta already grabbed your wrist and dragged you in. Her house is comfortably small. Humbly so. It makes you feel a tad guilty for living in a mansion. You sit down on her leather couch and rub some of the scratches, most obviously happened by accident. 

CA: wwoww nep, this house is a lot smaller than everyone elses. thats not fair  
AC: :33 < it was all my choice, i really dont like big houses 

You guess you see the appeal. 

You both open your mouths to speak, but have nothing to say. You need to pull at your shirt. It helps you think. 

AC: :33 < so um... how have you b33n? i havent talked to you in furever  
CA: oh ivve been here and there and... fuckin evverywwhere. mentally. im tryin to make amends wwith evveryone. i guess you can say i greww up  
CA: fuckin finally, right?  
AC: :33 < youve always b33n great to me! and im not saying that in a happy-go-lucky way. i really mean it. i know i said this already, but i truly did miss you. i missed your fishy face  
CA: i missed you too, nep. im sorry for not saying anythin for a long time. i didnt wwanna say anythin wwhile i wwas tryin to fix myself. and i guess i still fuckin am. its really hard  
AC: :33 < dont worry about it. youre here now, which means youre happier and that makes me happy too  
CA: ivve changed a lot. i guess i finally realized that the color of your blood doesnt mean shit. wwhen i wwas younger i wwas just bein stupid. and i mean, wwho could blame me? or any of us? wwe wwere kids. wwe all used crazy methods to keep us sane.  
CA: and im not excusin wwhat i did, im explainin it. evverythin i said to you wwasnt me most of the time. ok wwell, yeah, it wwas. but i used anger to manage my emotions. i still do sometimes  
CA: it wwas really hard bein a kid. it wwas for all of us. and noww that wwe are adults, things are different. i feel wiser. and im not fuckin wise! i just feel like i knoww things noww that i wwish younger me kneww howw to put into wwords and learn howw to change   
CA: wwoww im sorry for vventin. howw havve you been  
AC: :33 < that makes a lot of sense. it sounds like youve b33n through a lot. ive b33n okay. i dont roleplay as much anymore. i spend most of my time drawing, i really enjoy making comics now! and i sort of stopped thinking about the whole quadrants thing. for a bit, anyways  
AC: :33 < i remember using the quadrants as a way to cope back then too  
CA: oh no dont get me started on quadrants 

Nepeta laughs a little, and you laugh a little too. It feels good to laugh with her again. 

She sighs after the last few chuckles disappear. You look at her. Her eyes are different. There's a maturity to them now. They looked tired and worn, but also content. There are no more fears and anxieties there, she looks truly okay. Not necessarily happy, but okay. Safe. 

You wonder what yours look like. Probably very different. Probably not scared anymore or angry or tired. Well, maybe tired, but a different tired. Which makes sense. Different things tire you now. And you feel empathetic now. At peace with everyone and yourself. Wouldn't anyone? After two sessions of Spurb? 

AC: :33 < oh my goodness purrdon me fur being neglectfur, would you like some tea?  
CA: no, thank you. i guess i should get goin noww  
AC: :33 < dont go! its b33n really nice talking to you, stay a while 

You really didn't want to go. But it just might be for the best. Yet... as you get ready to stand, to flee from your problems, you think about it again. The kiss. 

CC: ah, i guess i can stay a bit. nepeta, i wwanted to knoww if you remember savvin me that day. wwhen nobody else wwould  
AC: :33 < of course i do. it was a very dark day. why do you ask?  
CA: ill confess, i just cant stop thinkin about it. is that wweird?  
AC: :33 < not at all. we havent s33n each other for an entire sw33p, of course thatd be the furst thing you think of!  
CA: that doesnt bother you?  
AC: :33 < not really. to be honest, i think about it sometimes too 

Oh wow. That's strange. You wonder if Nepeta still has feelings for Karkat. She never did until you two split. Well, you never really were officially together. You just remember spending a lot of time with her when you were younger, as friends. And in the first session of Sburb. It was your fault for separating you from her. Your entire blood hierarchy shit ruined a lot of things for you. 

CA: what about karkat? 

Fuck. Why would you say that. 

AC: :33 < we arent compatible. plus i lost f33lings after earth c. he would be happier with someone else, like dave or jade or. anyone besides me  
CA: dont say it like that, you are really wworthy. in fact, you deservve more than karkat. but thats just wwhat i think  
AC: :33 < didnt you like karkat befur?  
CA: lets not talk about that 

You both laugh again. Seriously though, what were you thinking back then? 

AC: :33 < i know i said i dont really care about quadrants anymore, but ill confess something else. ive b33n... waiting for the right purrson. i think you are in my quadrants 

Oh. Wow. This wasn't light news by any means. You hug yourself instinctively and stare at the floor. Dissociating. 

AC: :33 < i shouldnt have brought that up, im sorry. i thought for a second that maybe. maybe you felt the same  
CA: i do nep! i really do. i just. i nevver thought you wwould forgivve me. you feel... flushed?  
AC: :33 < i think so. i didnt know what happened to you to be honest, thats why i didnt say anything. and i just now forgave you. when you showed up here, tonight. that was enough to make me forgive you. which is kind of silly isnt it? but i think that youve changed a lot in a good way. and even back then, even when you hurt me, i still felt that way. i guess i just resorted to shipping myself with karkat as a way to forget. youre the only person who saw me as i am. not a stupid cat that just lives in her cave and draws on the wall all day 

Wow. That's a lot. 

CA: nep i had no idea  
CA: do you wwanna catch up... on evverythin?  
AC: :33 < id like that 

And so you do. For hours. And at the end, Nepeta's hand grasps yours. Her other hand's sleeve wipes your tears. And when she leans in to kiss your salty lips, you transcend to the past. 

You remember exactly how it felt. Nepeta's small arms wrapped around your disembodied torso. She kissed your long-dead lips with tears on her lips. It tasted like your kiss now, in real time. You felt again. You were alive. 

You part first and sniffle. Oh how you missed her. That lipstick. She still wears the same pale kind. The kind you would never tell someone wore until you tasted it. 

CA: im so tired  
AC: :33 < wanna crash at my place?  
CA: as temptin as it sounds, i think i wwill go back home. i wwill be here tomorrow though, for christmas. i promise i wwill. im nevver leavvin you like that again nep.  
AC: :33 < thats alright. thank you. we have a lot to discuss, but fur now... 

She kisses you again. Not for long, but for long enough. To leave a point. Like some kind of unspoken promise. You both stand and hug. As you do, you feel something between you shift. 

CA: oh i almost forgot, here is your gift 

You hand the perfectly wrapped gift to her. It was small, small enough that you kept it in your pocket. 

CA: dont open it yet, okay?  
AC: :33 < i wont. are you leaving now?  
CA: i think so. i promise ill be back. wwe can talk a lot more tomorroww. it doesnt havve to be quadrant stuff  
AC: :33 < its a date. im gonna miss you, but waiting will be worth it. ill have food ready for you too. bye bye 

She sounded sad. She quickly hugged you again, and feeling her waist next to you and warm body was enough to make you want to stay. But you couldn't. Not tonight. There were things you needed to do first. 

You say your last goodbyes, and hop down the stairs to her door. Tears still leak a little from your eyes. Eridan Ampora, what have you done with yourself? 

Back inside, Nepeta sits back down and shakily wipes away her own tears. She gently opens the present. Its a box. It looks like it would contain jewelry of some kind, but when you open it, there is only a picture of some kind. 

A chubbier pair of children grin at her in the photo. The girl is wearing a hat that is too big for her, and it covers part of her eyes. One of her teeth are missing, she just lost a tooth. The boy has fins that are too small for him, compared to the other girl in the background with fins on her face. The kids look so happy. Little grubs, she thinks. She misses them. Those kids. 

Those same kids reunite on Christmas day, a holiday they didn't even know existed until living on Earth C. Those same kids find each other and change so much. Everything changes. But two things will never change: the size of the boy's fins in the photo and their undying love for one another.


End file.
